On Establishing A Proper Bedtime Routine

My mother is one of the only people I’ve ever known to have a proper bedtime routine. She’s been doing it the same way since I was a kid. After dinner’s over and she’s washed dishes, she changes into her pajamas, brushes her teeth, washes her face and takes off any make-up, put on some night cream, does some praying and goes to sleep. Seems simple enough, right?


That’s a lie. She’s always seemed impossibly perfect. I’ve never been able to get it, even though I’ve always wanted to have the energy to do it myself.

Yeah, I’ve just never been good at this bedtime routine thing. In my younger semi-adult years, my drinking habits made sure my bedtime routine was more akin to Homer after a few hours at Moe’s.


I’ve gone to bed for the past decade with my make-up still on, teeth un-brushed, face un-washed, possibly still wearing the outfit from the evening (which used to have a tendency to reek of booze and various kinds of smoke), possibly with my laptop or Taco Bell Fourth Meal half-eaten still in my lap. What has resulted is my skin becoming permanently blemished (I still blame hormones for my lack of flawless skin…but maybe I could treat it better), cavities I have yet to take care of, and a lack of well-rested nights.

I have this feeling that maybe, just maybe, once my kid is born (and after the first, oh, year or so of insomnia), I’ll kind of be forced into a good bedtime routine because I’ll have to show him how to have one. I’ll have to remind him to brush his teeth and wash up. John and I will have to tuck him into bed at night (or take turns or something). We’ll read him a book or two until he’s old enough to want to stay up all night and read books himself the way I used to (I really hope he enjoys books!) And as for the praying part…ehh…not so important in my book. My mom used to have me recite a few Catholic prayers (back when she hadn’t become an Evangelical yet – It’s cool, I still love her because she’s still awesome) before bed. Maybe John and I can teach our son different kinds of spiritual chants and meditations and prayers so he can decide which ones feel most comfortable for him. Spirituality isn’t bad. Just the dogma, really.

Anyhow…I just brushed me teeth and washed me face (kinda…with water, anyway) and I’m in bed…about 45 minutes later than I intended to be. But! I am writing a blog post, meaning I AM writing, meaning this IS a good routine to get into. Now if only I could remember to do this every night, and possibly a bit earlier each night so I get a proper good night’s sleep? That would be ace.





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